Moving Out!

Hello everyone!!

Moving out of home is something everybody must do eventually. Whether you're 17 or 46 there will come a time to fly the coop. For me that time is now. Two days ago my parents and I left the small country town of Mackay and ventured into the big bad city of Brisbane. The idea of living off my own devices is almost surreal and kind of terrifying seeing as I am sitting here my roommate is about to burn the place down and I'm choking on the smoke of burnt toast. However I must say that as scary  as it may seem that fear is cancelled out by the utter excitement of being able to do your own thing. Over the weekend I've been shopping for supplies and whilst it might appear to be boring as bat shit, going grocery shopping for your own food is actually loads of fun. I have loved setting up my room and my space and getting together with my roommates to brainstorm how we can brighten up out kitchen and living area. The possibilities are endless when it comes to this sort of thing and I'll be posting an endless supply of photos when I've finished setting up.

For anybody out there contemplating moving away from home I suggest that you do. I know that change comes with a paralysing fear of the unfamiliar for some but it really is worth the risk, sometimes to succeed you have to jump and that's what I've done this year. Sure there were a few tears shed this morning when my Mom and Dad began their journey back to Mackay but I am enjoying my new home so much and am finding the thought of making my own house rules unfathomable.

To all those who are moving out this year I wish you the best of luck as I know it can be terribly difficult but the freedom at the end of the line and the change that just leaves you dizzy is absolutely fantastic, my hearts are with you for the big move!

Until next time! xx

The terrifying reality of commitment

This Friday, as I'm sure everybody knows, is the best/worst day of the year, yes I am talking about Valentine's Day. So instead of taking about some raw uncomfortable topic I thought I'd soften the blow a tad and give my little blog series an opinionated view of relationships and commitment. I suppose I should probably give you the low down on my love life before we start this off by informing you that I've never officially had a boyfriend or "gone steady" with anybody. There are so many reasons for this and you'll be hearing about most of them so don't worry. Undoubtedly the biggest excuse for this is that I am absolutely terrified of commitment when it involves people. My muddled thoughts have convinced me that if I don't let them in then I can't disappoint them or myself and I'll be able to avoid a great deal of emotional destruction. So in a way keeping myself single has allowed me to protect myself from what I think might cause me irreversible devastation. 

I was a young impressional romantic when I began dating people and teasing the waters of what could be relationships at the age of 13/14. Before this time the concept I had constructed for a relationship had stemmed from the happily married around me (such as my parents) and cheesy films so I had such a disproportional perspective of love and all that surrounded it. God did I get a shock by how much heartbreak surround me and I friends we fell too quickly as most teens do and lost sight of the repercussions at the beginning. From hearing so many tears over various late night calls I decided that I needed to protect myself. I had felt the slight sting of rejection before but was never really invested in the guy so could get over it quickly enough. However when I saw how much heartache could be caused if the relationship got to a serious stage before being broken off I decided that I never wanted to feel that. In a way I look back and see how silly that was and that I probably should have fallen harder and faster and that some things are worth shattering for, yet I don't think I would do it any differently if I could.

This fear and determination to protect my heart still resides in me, granted it's not as strong as it used to be, but I don't think I'll be ready for a committed relationship any time soon. I'm happy with that and I like to keep things casual, I still go out on dates and in doing so have met so many amazing people. I think thats a good way to go into the world. i have an open mind and i'm taking things at my own pace which makes me feel comfortable. I'm happy being single because I don't want a boyfriend.  I don't want to dedicate myself to somebody to quickly simply because I want to leave behind any hard feelings. I don't want to get hurt but more importantly i don't want to hurt somebody either. Hence casual is what I like. Dates upon dates, becoming friends and getting to know each other first and if it stops at friends than I am completely satisfied. Now that said a lot of guys are actually scared of this, I would know. They run away, they feel uncomfortable for a while and I'm okay with that because it lets me know that they weren't going to be the right person anyway.

Now there are several downsides to this as I'm sure you've already noticed. I don't get to close to people and I don't have somebody that dedicates their feelings towards me either, which I see as being fair. I also loose a couple of potential friends and some guys may just end it and not want to continue something which is ok as well. It's what I want for myself right now. I'm young and I like having my freedom. Sure someday it would be nice to have somebody all to myself but I don't want that kind of relationship right now and I don't plan on changing that soon. Who knows somebody might come along tomorrow and change that but then again that would be kind of miraculous, don't you think?

Well I hope this invigorates some of the singles out there to be comfortable with who you are when you don;t have a partner and I hope that my view makes you a little more confident in what you're doing right now relationship wise.

Until next time! xx

Promiscuity: Girls vs Boys

I'm putting myself in front of the firing squad once more by telling you all that I love to fool around. Now before you go ahead and start making assumptions lets recap my last post in which I let you all know that I am a virgin. So when I talk about fooling around you can be assured that it isn't as promiscuous as it sounds. In further explanation I am very attracted to the opposite sex so whatever the circumstance may be I love to get it going on - whether it be just a bit of eye sex, flirting or even a sneaky make out session. If your beginning to think "woah, this chic is pretty slutty" or "is she trying to stir up trouble", I'll ask you to please reconsider. I am having fun. That's really all there is to it. I fool around and tug on strings (no pun intended) because it is fun.

If we rewind this conversation a little and pretend like I'm a guy, what would your reaction be now? I'm almost certain it would have gone along the lines of "that's just how boys are" or even go so far as to thinking me as a lucky guy for "getting around". Can you see the difference? Now you can go ahead and call me a feminist because I see this as both unfair and derogatory. It might surprise a lot of you out there but girls want some sexy time just as much as guys do, yet we are made to feel guilty about it and are told to hide it away and suppress this side of ourselves.

Single or not women love the idea of being able to 'flaunt there thing' and utilise what beautiful figures we've got. As far as this topic goes women seem to always be in the wrong, whether that's because of the clothes we wear or the way we act/speak. Now if I'm going to a party or out on a date I'm likely to wear clothes that highlight my curves for two reasons, 1) to feel sexy as hell and boost my confidence and 2) to look attractive cause lets be honest I won't be getting any treats if I look like I've just walked out of a monastery (and who doesn't want treats). That doesn't make me slutty because I'm not doing it for sex nor does it make me a tease as I'm actually doing it for myself. People forget that selfishness is a thing and quite frankly when I go out I'm thinking about myself and making a good impression whether that be for the near or distant future. Many people make wrong assumptions about this kind of behaviour and assume its the reason for rape (which it isn't, but I'm not going into that topic at all today).

In conclusion, this inequality in the genders is something that is really infuriating for women across the globe. We need to stand united and abolish these stupid customs that society has seemed to press upon us. Please take some kind of message from this post whether that be awareness or the knowledge that you aren't in the wrong and let it be know to everyone around you. I've defiantly informed the people I surround myself of this and it really has helped in the sense that judgements are lessened and the people that matter don't mind that I float from guy to guy and have no intentions of settling down.

   Until next time! xx Mackenzie