Are
you a virgin?
This is the big question that some people avoid for embarrassment whilst
others relish in the response that they are able to give. It's a simple yes or
no question. For me it's a yes. I have not have sex. I'm not in the least
bothered by this fact. I have never been in a situation with a guy in which I
felt the need to take action to change this either. So it's a fact that I am a
virgin. I'm totally okay with that because it's true. What I'm not okay
with is the hoard of negative connotations that are attached to this title. No,
I'm not chaste or fallow or inept. I'm not undesirable or uncool and I would
call myself anything but pure. I don't push every guy away or hide from
sexual activity. Nor am I celibate, stiff or religiously corrupt and
therefore cannot force other people around me to follow my sex free life.
These are the things that cause us all to lie and keep the real truth to
ourselves. I have plenty of girlfriends who are so horribly ashamed to answer
the "simple" question even when its asked in confidence and have lied
to me about whether or not they have had sex. I know women who sleep with lots
of guys, have lots of sex with one guy, have had sex only once, and I also
happen to know some other virgins. The sad thing is 75% of these friends feel
terrified to admit to the truth about their sexual activities. The fear that
seems to accompany this question for many women is what fuels the judgments and
accusations.
When looking at the other end of the spectrum it appears to be no better
as the label switches from virgin to slut. The second you lose your virginity
people look down on you, it was such a burden to hold the title to begin with
yet now you're wondering if you really have lost something invaluable - surely
virgin is a better name than slut? You've heard from the beginning that a slut
is dirty, diseased, some kind of home-wrecker or whore, or maybe all of that
really comes to mind creating the image of a sleazy hooker making a living out
of her bad habits. However by dictionary standards the definition is merely
reads: Slut, /slʌt/,
noun derogatory
, 1. a woman who has many casual sexual partners (synonyms:
promiscuous woman). Not once does it mention that a slut is dirty or a hooker
or diseased. It also claims that a slut has many sexual partners, which clearly
means losing your virginity (which can only happen once) does not make you a
slut. Just because your no longer a virgin does not give you the immediate
title of becoming a slut, in all honesty humanity just skipped out on a
label.
In all seriousness the problem is that there is
no defined in-between state, you’re not allowed to be sitting on the fence
because it just doesn't exist. It's ridiculous that for a race that has the need to name and label everything nobody has been able to define what is normal. Its okay to have sex - it doesn't make you a slut if you do. It's okay not to have sex - because being a virgin means only that. We need to stop worrying about what is written on our name tags. The "hello. my name is ..." isn't important. What matters is how you're able to define yourself.
Later Gator xx
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